Shave Me

21 EX

And so they took her in this new room, there was a big machine like a robot, standing there speaking no word, watching her not, just standing there and then they introduced it to her....it's been. Every day they took her there and let them on their own in that room. That noise and that light ....silence and it's been ....that eye of the robot, its arms trying to he her but never succeeding ....and she was just lying wondering if it was a prize or something for she hasn't been good ....and it was like that and she couldn't do anything else than accepting it ... 

 

Shave me Again

Furthermore they told her she could then enjoy her hair again....last year that thingy started suddenly without explanation and they shortly told her, please give us all your hair. Yep, that was enormously horrible and it really made her cry but only for a bit ....then she said ok and went on...in that system of things ....where today they told her, ok ....you can now let them grow again! Yeah and they were waiting for her here I come and of course but she just let them grow a bit and....smiling she took her shaver and let them all fall on the ground, take them if you want! No way, you wanted them and I gave them to you and now I really am my own administrator.  So she let all the nuns got shocked and wordless but they were also unable to do anything and that was truly a source of happiness to her and to her freedom! 

Radiation

And so the nuns had been lying ...they had told her the treatments were over but instead that morning they took her to a strange doctor who told her she really needed this kind of cure....what was it all about? She couldn't understand but she knew she had to say nothing else that I'll do it....and then those tattoos, so little, hide points, four on her skin....still with her when she was in her room again...asking, how much more? When will I be able to be free again? And it was pretty scary for she couldn't say what freedom was all about, her past was just like a black hole and being out of there could only mean falling into it.... 

No Way

When the nuns told her her hairs would have soon started to grow again....she felt pretty puzzled about ....when she found herself in there she couldn't understand nor accept why those crazy nuns decided to shave her....and then? She kinda liked it, she took the shaver and did it, they were only millimeters but she set the things back to start....the nuns complained about it and closed her in her room/cell ....but she didn't care and looked at the prisoner in the mirror pretty satisfied....yep, maybe she was not free but not to anything...then she opened up her window smiling and she got out....while the feline were observing but snoring much more....

Radioactive

Zoo

The nuns took her to the zoo, she really didn't want to go there, she wanted to play with her computers ....the nuns gave her another one and she liked it pretty much....but then....those 3d models....she was creating ....but then that windy morning they took her far from....well, not so far....the zoo was so ..... beautiful ....she found herself in love with that place... Without understanding why....she ran to see the big felines and sat down ......near the lion....just like waiting for him to tell her something ....like he knew something to know to escape from that flat reality she found herself in...then came the lioness....she stretched a bit and got back to sleep....so she went on walking....she visited the tigers....the pumas and also the cheetahs ....she went back to her cell with so many questions but she didn't ask any....she wanted to pet her little big kitties....who were them? They were purring loudly in satisfaction....

 

Radioactivity Again

The nuns took her to the west wing....it was not yet closed but she was already gloomy for they told her one of her friends in there died ....it was a terrible news and she couldn't believe it....weren't those nuns as powerful as they were saying to be? She was sad but also numb and she didn't cry, she never did....so they took her to the west wing and did something to her to make her radioactive....to be true she didn't care, her mind was elsewhere as her body seemed not to be able to get free for good....luckily she managed to escape late at night thru a led open window and that was the best thing ..... 

 

I Hate You

And I will always do for you watered the monster flower in me, you saw there was a bad monster there indeed of me and you came closer, you played the friend to get closer and then you opened the cage, you smashed the lock and let it fly and eat me ....now I am a monster and I hate you coz I can only hate and I cannot stand what you have done ....you threatened me cheating on my loyalty and my friendship ....now I hate and you suck, this monster couldn't even stand your smell, you stink.....now you are .....she was thinking hard without understand who she was referring to. She was spending her day in her cell....

Sick Hot Air

She was feeling very ....like she found a place to be, the attic was the right place but the hot air was making that room like the nuns didn't like to be in... And they've been complaining a lot about what she was doing and she was thinking again everything she did was wrong and acceptable only in her mind....she grew stronger and got used not to care about that ....but she wasn't yet able to ignore ....

By the Pool

It was a nice time outside the building and she kinda forgot she was often feeling out of place and even out of range coz she couldn't fit that range but she was still trying to kinda fit for she knew there were good times and her friend just wanted to inaugurate his pool and like that moment in time so much she felt good in that....like .... like she had been searching for friends ....and she couldn't find any and finally she found herself in this pack that was celebrating friendship by the pool without saying what they were celebrating for real ..... 

Odd Injection Inside

Odd

And so they told her the west wing was so useless they were going to close it or at least those rooms where they used to close her... That closet got closed and she didn't understand why or she couldn't even believe it....she spent some time in her mind trying to forget those moments spent there, all the things they did to her and how much she got used to these....those memories weren't going to fade but she managed to be happy about it, despite she was still that kind of prisoner in there....

 

Injection

She went to the west wing once again and then the nuns closed it, they let a big chain secure the doors and it was over, not before tormenting her a little more and leaving her pretty dizzy and heavy...she was tired of that room, of the nuns and of the bars at the window....she wanted to escape....badly.....sadly ...

 

Inside

Locked in her room, she managed to think about a possible escape early in the following morning but when the nuns came and locked her inside it was the end of her dreaming of a better day...she had been gloomy and lonely all day but then she started to think about escaping ....  Then it got clear she wasn't even going to exit her room/cell so soon....her mind faded in the night and her hope drowned in the swamp.....of her mind....

One o'clock

At Night

She was pretty numb as there was something puzzling her, something she couldn't get. It was night time and all the nuns were sleeping, a good moment to escape but she couldn't manage to breakthrough .....she was wondering. What am I doing in here ? What am I trying to heal? Every time she tried to say she was felling good and ready to go out no one believed her and they were all trying to convince her it couldn't have been possible, furthermore she often felt like they considered her a fool... The moon was there, looking at her and she also felt she was thinking the same....







At Day


It was lunch time and they left her in her room, no there was no lunch together, there was nothing to do with others and they still considered her unstable, still after all the treatments? Yes, they didn't dare to tell her why she there and they didn't care if she couldn't understand a thing of what was going on in there, not even in her mind....when she started to doubt about her mind she felt so bad she said to herself it should have never happened ....but slowly it was happening she started to see herself as they told her she was: a fool....

Good and bad

 

And then it came, the right moment to escape and she did it, she took it and ran off...she ate everything about it and she liked to breath all the fresh air she needed, she wanted.... And when she came back to the building she hardly realized to be there again.... Until the nuns told her she would have gone to the west wing again....

She was feeling horrible about it and great about the escape...

Horrible

Is it going to be another horrible day?

She was wondering with fear looking at the unbearable bright day at the window. So much time since the last escape. They wouldn't let her ... She needed to escape for she was hungry... Of freedom ... She also afraid to be taken  to the west wing, that was driving her crazy, it was an upsetting combo. Wanting to go out that room, dreading to go out for another reason. She didn't want the nuns to see her upset and so she tried to act like it was all nice...

Hoping to escape

Needing to escape

More and more

Every minute

Radioactivity Room

 

So early in the morning the nuns wake her up and send her to the west wing, they took her there and tied to a room in this radioactive room of the west wing... Horrible even if painless, terribly boring and she hated to do everything about the west wing.... They turned her radioactive and she didn't even wanna know why, she was so angry she couldn't go out, escape... She had to be locked in her room and stay there far from everyone, not to contaminate anyone....

Late Bitterness

Even Saturday got bitter, when downtown ended...her friends got back to their homes and she went back to her cell in that numb building ....her being numb...
Even TV was getting extremely boring in the main room and all the others around it were falling asleep, even the nuns...and so she was the only one awake, even the dogs were sleeping...and she got to be alone among the others ... Just like it happened when she wasn't in that numb building... Is that always like that....bitter in sweet and a lot to work to find a dry spot a muddy sea...?